In competing press conferences today, both the prosecution and defense in the case of United States Citizens vs United States Congress, known as United Citizens, laid out provocative claims on their positions.

Attorney Adams for the prosecution stated that they are facing difficulty in controlling the amount of evidence they want to present.  They  have already been warned by the court that they would not be allowed the full six months requested to present evidence.  Attorney Jefferson, in response to a question, said the evidence is so overwhelming they can make the case in a matter 0f hours if necessary.  He said that the difficulty the court was having finding unbiased jurors had convinced him of that.

The attorneys for the defense had trouble with the sound system at their press conference.  That was due primarily to the fact that the Democrats and Republicans hired separate attorneys and all were trying to speak at the same time.  The basic messages that seemed to come through the babble were that it was all the other party’s fault and that they had selected their voters fair and square through gerrymandering.  However, they also seemed to be setting a possible course for a group insanity defense.  The attorney for the Republicans, Javier Rasputin, commented on the rumor that Systemic Accountability Disorder, SAD, or Reactive Apoplexy Disorder, RAD, would be part of the defense.  “Absolutely no truth at all to those rumors.  They are baseless charges created by the Democrat Party to hide their true agenda of increased spending”.  At the same time, the lead attorney for the Democrats, Melissa Malicious,  said “the preposterous notion that we will claim Bipartisan Anxiety Disorder as a defense is a just a ploy by the Republicans to take the spotlight off their refusal to raise taxes on the rich”.  Based on the denials, we expect to hear much more about these disorders in the near future.

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The court had to expand jury selection to include Mexico and Canada.  In so doing, they overruled a defense motion to restrict the jury pool to the United States.  The court cited two justifications.  One, there are too few potential jurors in the US.  “The probability of finding a potential juror of sound mind who has not already convicted Congress in his or her mind is about the same as winning Lotto and being struck by lightening while an asteroid hits earth “.  The second reason is that Congress has as much potential to hurt all of North America as it does the US alone.

A small group of Representatives and Senators are quietly disassociating themselves from the crowd.  The group of a few Republicans and Democrats have taken the recently unprecedented step of talking to each other in defiance of their party’s leadership and extremes.  Responding to a question on catering to primary voters, one said “The slightest sacrifice we can make is to lose our jobs by doing the right thing for the next generation¹.”

1.  Senator Joe Manchin, D, West Virginia, at No Labels Meet for America, January 14, 2013